Saturday, 31 December 2011


This came to my attention a while ago on Twitter when a lot of girls were saying the ten things they find attractive in a guy. A few people were being sarcastic so they could get a retweet, but most girls said similar things. I then concluded that all girls want a man with two main features – ambition and someone that can put her in her place. This goes for EVERY girl, including the ‘bad bitches’ and the girls that claim they don’t need no man. When looking for a partner, they are ideally looking for someone that can tell her hollering self to shut the fuck up or just give her a stare and let her know the deal. Don’t get me wrong, girls don’t want to fear their man, they just want someone that can handle them. No girl wants a bitch nigga.

A bitch nigga doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing with his life and can’t control shit. Yeah, girls like to take control of things sometimes but when she hands you the damn torch, nigga don’t drop it. A bitch nigga doesn’t know how to treat his girl and will probably agree with everything she says – that will be cute for a good month but after that, she’s going to want someone that can lay down the fucking law. And booboo, you can’t do it. If a girl can’t respect you, you won’t go far with your bitch nigga self.
A few people will be reading this and be like ‘wtf is she talking about, girls want a guy that does everything for her.’ And if you are thinking this, you are a bitch nigga. If you’re a girl and you are thinking this, you’re probably too young. Girls love AUTHORITY.

Us girls also love a man with ambition. If you are a hoodrat or one of them boys that make Youtube videos trying to get far with your rap career, I can safely say that for most girls, it doesn’t look good on your CV for a relationship. Little girls say they want a ‘bad boy’ that sells illegal substances in the neighbourhood or is in a gang. That isn’t someone you bring home to your family. And I’m sorry, I am not waiting for your bitch arse while you're dropping the soap waiting for Peter to give you the dick in prison. I am 17 years old, why am I gonna be waiting for you while your in prison? Did I give you the gun? Did I shoot someone? No. I am not doing shit. You Youtube gangsters confuse me also. How is it that you can afford to talk about the MAC-10 you’ve got in your house and you haven’t got a single GCSE or A Level. Really nigga? Really.

Girls look for other features in males also. You must be respectful to women. If you are trying spit your stupid ‘bars’ like ‘I love you babes una’ when we’ve been speaking for two weeks, you clearly want some vagina and you clearly don’t respect me if you think I’m stupid enough to fall for that. Or when approaching us you have the utter audacity to part your lips and shout ‘oi’ as if we’re different species. Some guys even take it one step further and ‘sss’ at a girl. I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was a python. I just can’t believe that guys do this and expect to get a nice reaction. And then when you get the reaction you deserve, which should be a fuck off ladies (if you girls give your number to these boys then you deserve one swift yam connected to your head), you then insult us. Because I am sure you are going to get my number now right? Foolish lizard.

A guy that can be romantic once in a while is quite nice also. I say once in a while because if you are buying me flowers every damn week I won’t be very happy, I’m not a fucking florist. Romance isn’t nandos either. You ghetto people need to calm down about you’re getting happy because he got you a ¼ chicken with his nandos card. Bitch please. But if you’re romantic once in a while, it’ll be a nice surprise and will be appreciated more. There’s nothing wrong with taking your girl out to dinner (NOT NANDOS, NIGLETS) for a nice change instead of cuddling up in bed watching a dvd which has become a regular routine in your relationship.

These are the main features girls look for in a guy. We’re not asking for too much are we (there’s more I just didn’t want to make this too long). Guys need to stop saying that girls are only interested in money and hood niggers because I can bet on anything that those relationships do not last. If they do, she’s a hoodrat. Girls are not as materialistic and stupid as some guys think. 


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